Red Sox 11, As 6

Big bats broken out!
Makes up for yesterday's loss.
.500, for now.

The Other Sox, Red Sox

Gavin Floyd, you putz.

Held my guys to just one run.

Not a fun season.

Red Sox 1, White Sox 0

Jon gets a shutout!
Bullpen didn't fuck it up.
Wonders never cease.

Red Sox 10, Pale Hose 3

Bard: 6 Ks, badass.
Papi, McD both go yahd
5 in a row. YES!

Red Sox 10, Pale Sox 3

Youk: Grand Salami!
Salty: 2 bombs. The bullpen?
Didn't fuck it up.

Red Sox 7, Twinkies 6

Sox managed a sweep.
Despite a bumbling bullpen.
Three in a row: YEAH!

Red Sox 11, Twinkies 2

This is a blow out.
Didn't watch and yes, they won.
Superstitious much?

Red Sox 6, Twinkies 5

Now that's more like it.
Lester starts, but Bard gets win.
Valentine's a dope.

Forces of Darkness 15, ? Red WTFS 9

9 zero lead blown.
Spanks: 14 runs, 2 innings.
Lousy fucking 'pen.

Pinstriped Damned 6, Reeling Red Sox 2

Clay coughs up 4 bombs,
At least Papi hit a deuce.
We want Tito back.

Rangers 6, What Used to be the Red Sox 3

Another game down
Beckett took it in the shorts.
We need Tito back

Ranger 15, Red Sox 2 (Top 8th)

This is disgraceful.
Snot beating in progress, so
Bad I won't finish.

D Bags 1, Red Sox 0

So much for a sweep.
Valentine left Bard too long.
Bats took the day off.

Red Sox 6, D Bags 4

Sox sweep the D Bags.
Pena home run? Not so fast.
Love instant replay.

Red Sox 13, D Bags 5

Boston hit parade!
Buchholz 5 Ks, Bats 5 bangs.
Go shove your cowbells.

Red Sox 12, D Bags 2

Boston's bats awoke
Snot beaten from Tampa Bay.
Home opener won!

Haiku Composed for Boston Globe Requesting Red Sox Haikus

Fenway's One Hundredth.
Week One would have been bigger
Damn that Titanic.

Blue Jays 3, Red Sox 1

Sox drop another.
Lester goes 8, 6 strikeouts.
The bats let him down.

Blue Jays 7, Red Sox 3

Hope has come and gone.
The Jays had a hit parade.
Feel like a Cubs fan.

Red Sox 4, Blue Jays 2

My boys, off the schneid!
Top of the ninth, job got done.
Yankees won, too.  Fuck them.

Tigers 13, Red Stops 12 (11 innings)

2 leads squandered. Shit.
But there IS joy to be had.
Yanks are sucking, too.

Tiger 10, Red Flops 0

Red Sox pitching sucked.
Beckett gives up five homers.
Chicken grease fingers.

Tigers 3, Red Sox 2

Lester goes seven
Aceves debuts, blows save
Fuck Austin Jackson.

Two Thumbs Down

Season starts tomorrow,
Bailey/Beckett out: bad thumbs.
Start my ulcer now.