Red Sox 9, Satan's Minions 5

Ellsbury, Tek, 2 run bombs
Pedey, Scoot, damn good fielding
Papelbon, lights OUT!

Pinstriped Damned 5, Red Sox 2

Lackey, mole for the  Halos
Cervelli drill too costly
For genuine oops.

Red 4, Athletics 0

Rain delays, schmain delays, the
Boys got it done for Bedard.
Sox still in first place.

Red Sox 9, As 3

Jon Lesteriffic through 6
Hit parade by Boston bats
Nice to be on top.

As 15, Red Sox 5

Wake's 200th? Not tonight.
Old Man of the Mound denied.
Ugly, so ugly.

Red Sox 6, Rangers 0 Ratboy, Zip, Zero, Nada, Niente

Gonzo goes yard two times, YES!
Papi and Salty, one each.
Hot bats, life is good.

Red Sock It 'Ems 13, Current American League Champs 2

Eleven runs: snot beating
Crawford: 5 Ribbies, 'bout time
Momentum is good.


And the Spanks lost. Imagine my sorrow.

RRRRRed Sox 11, Rangers 5

Gonzo went yard TWICE tonight
And Lackey wins number 12
He must have cheated.

Rotten Rangers 4, Red Sox 0

Eric Bedard, a menace
To the team he's pitching for.
Drop him off the bridge.

Red Sox 6, Rumbled Royals 1

Crawford hits homer! What he
Got paid for in the first place!
Lester: Win 13.

ROYALS????? THE EFFIN' ROYALS???? 9, Red Sox 4

No 200th win for Wake
8 run 6th inning kind of
put an end to that.

Red Sox 7, Royals 1

Salty hits a three run bomb
Andrew Miller; the right stuff.
Winning? Much more fun.

Red Sox 7, Royals 1

Salty hits a three run bomb
Andrew Miller; the right stuff.
Winning? Much more fun.

Red Sox 7, Royals 1

Salty hits a three run bomb
Andrew Miller; the right stuff.
Winning? Much more fun.

Red Sox 7, Royals 1

Salty hits a three run bomb
Andrew Miller; the right stuff.
Winning? Much more fun.

Red Sox 4, Royals 3

Beckett FINALLY get 10!
No Youk, No Papi, no good
Keep on truckin', Boys.

Raytards 4, Red WTFS 0

Lackey, Tobin Bridge, push off
Chains, cement and more cement
He give me shpilkis.

D Bags 6, Red Sox 2

Splitting the double header?
Not with NY 1 game back.
Sox nail triple play!

Red Sox 3, D Bags 1

Ellsbury goes yahd, love it
Drives in all the runs, okay.
Lester gets the win.

Mariners 5, Red Sox 3

Wakefield denied 200th.
Yankees are too damned close.
GET BACK ON TRACK, BOYS!!!

Marin-oh nos 5, Really? Red Sox 4

Bad, bad, bad night for Beckett
5 runs in the first inning
Can't afford these nights.

Rrrrred Sox 6, Marinated 4

Papi, Jed, Reddick go yard
Lackey gets the win. Really.
Gained game on New York.

Management would like to take this opportunity to wish Seattle's Justin Smoak a speedy recovery from the injuries suffered when a line drive hit him in the face.

Twinkie 5, Red Sox 2

Jon Lester got knocked around
Except Papi, bats shut down
Yankees too damned close.

Red Sox 4, Twin Sets 3

Bedard, horrible in first
Got over it, held the line
Sox gain ground on Yanks.

Red Sox 8, Twinkies 6

Wakefield 200? Uh uh.
Big Papi wins the ballgame
With well-placed double.

RED SOX 3, Pinstriped Damned 2, 10 innings

Lil' Josh Reddick earns his spot
Walk off double wins the game
Suck it, Rivera.

Red Sox 10, Some Team from the Bronx 4

Ellsbury, drives in 6 runs
Including a three run bomb.
Still don't like Lackey.


(Mark Texeira has fish lips. Look at him standing in the box. The man looks like a carp).

Forces of Darkness 3, Red Sox 2

Pinstriped Damned, second half team
Red Sox have the August fade.
I have an ulcer.

Native Americans 7, Red Headaches 3

The August Fade is a myth
The August Fade is a myth
Don't make it real, Guys!

Red Sox 4, Indians 3

Ellsbury, such a nice boy
Walk off home run, All right!
Wins are beautiful!

Red Sox 3, Tribe 2

Ells hits walk off RBI
Salty beats the tag at home
Pap gets W.

Indians 9, Red Sox 6

Sick feeling in my stomach
Fingernails chewed down to nubs,
Lackey was pitching.