Saturday, April 30, 2011

Fish Flingers 2, Basement Dwellers 0

Five doubles, all were squandered.
Oh, well. Lousy season gets
Rid of the pink hats.

(What? You're expecting cherry blossoms? This is baseball)

Friday, April 29, 2011

Mariners 5, Red Shnooks 4

Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn.
What is ailing the Red Sox?
Did someone hex them?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Boston Stress Inducers 6, Baltimore Hons 2

Didn't watch the game, Sox won!
They do better when I don't.
Superstition rules.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Loathsome El Birdos* 5, Men Who Had a Winning Streak Last Week 4

Youks hits 3 run blast, no good.
Beckett didn't have A game.
Fuck a doodle doo.

*credit where it's due, this is a Stephen King coined moniker.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Orioles 4, Red Sox 1

Buchholz needs head straightened out.
He's in '09 mode; not good.
Stupid Orioles.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Red Sox 7, Halos 0

Crawford finally homered.
Lackey, solid performance.
It's about time, Guys.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Red Sox 5, Angels 0

Dice K Nine K! Dominant.
Doesn't make me like him yet.
Four game win streak. Yea!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Red Sox 4, Angels by Any Other Name 3

8 strikeouts, Lester's my boy.
Boston bullpen, not so much.
Shoot them. Shoot them all.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Red Sox 4, LAAAAAAAAAAngels 2

Blow lead, then win, stessed out fans
Bats, not the arms won the day.
One more W.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Red Sox 5, A's 3

Youk, Lowrie, Drew all homered!
Boston bullpen causing hives.
We'll take the win.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

A's 5, Red Sox 0

Mother fucking son of bitch.
John Lackey to minors NOW.
At least Yankees lost.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 1

3 game win streak. We'll take it.
Jed Lowrie, hitter on fire.
Here we go, Red Sox.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Red Sox 8, Blue Jays 1

Back to back wins, hope springs
Ellsbury, 3 run dinger
Keep it going, Boys!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Red Sox 4, Last Canadian Team 1

It may be Spring after all
Josh fanned 9, Lowrie homered
Signs of life, perhaps.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Blue Jays 7, Boston T Ball Team 6

No joy for Red Sox Nation
Blue Jays pinata gets win
Sox, you're killing me.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Rays at Red Sox postponed

Game called on account of rain
Will the Sox come back winners?
We'll see on Friday.

Barry Bonds Convicted

Was it the Clear or the Cream?
Found guilty of obstruction.
Poetic justice.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Tampa D Bags 3, Boston Jeez O Petes 2

Jon Lester, 8 strikeouts
Good pitching, no run support
We're getting laughed at.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Dice K Matsuzaka

2 innings, first pitch home run
Not earning his keep no more.
Sayanora, Man.

Lousy Rotten Rays 16, Boston WTFs 5

Pittching? What pitching? Missing.
Tek should slug A Rod again.
Worked in 04.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Manny Ramirez Retires

Caught juicing, second offense
Spanish term for big Dumbass?
Manny Ramirez.

Boston Lazarus 4, Most Hated Team in Baseball 0

Beckett, 10 Ks, DOMINANT
Gonzo's hands: hope he's okay
Joba, pinstriped pinata.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Forces of Darkness 9, NE Pirates 4

Yesterday a fluke? PLEASE, NO!!!!
Bring me McCarver/Buck's tongues.
HATE the Pinstriped Damned.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Red Sox 9, Satan's Pinstriped Legion 6

Sox hammer second inning
Bartolo the Hutt gets loss
Lackey sucked but won.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Indians 1, Red Sox 0

Latest loss is mind-numbing.
Slip and fall loses the game????
SI has jinxed them!

Indians 8, Red Sox 4

It's the fucking INDIANS!
The bullpen outsucks Dyson!
You're killing me, Sox!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Indians 3, Red Sox 1

12 strikeouts and the Sox LOSE?
It's Cleveland; they trade their best!
What the HELL, Red Sox?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Rangers 5, Red Sox 1

Bats quiet, Buchholz not sharp
Rangers kicked ass and took names
SOX! GET OFF THE SCHNEID!!!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Rangers 12, Red Sox 5

Red Sox clobbered, blame Lackey
5 innings of pain though Ells
And Papi went yard.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Rangers 9, Red Sox 5

First day good news and bad news:
Ortiz homers, no "when will he" crap
Jon Lester, not so hot.