Fish Flingers 2, Basement Dwellers 0

Five doubles, all were squandered.
Oh, well. Lousy season gets
Rid of the pink hats.

(What? You're expecting cherry blossoms? This is baseball)

Mariners 5, Red Shnooks 4

Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn.
What is ailing the Red Sox?
Did someone hex them?

Boston Stress Inducers 6, Baltimore Hons 2

Didn't watch the game, Sox won!
They do better when I don't.
Superstition rules.

Loathsome El Birdos* 5, Men Who Had a Winning Streak Last Week 4

Youks hits 3 run blast, no good.
Beckett didn't have A game.
Fuck a doodle doo.

*credit where it's due, this is a Stephen King coined moniker.

Orioles 4, Red Sox 1

Buchholz needs head straightened out.
He's in '09 mode; not good.
Stupid Orioles.

Red Sox 7, Halos 0

Crawford finally homered.
Lackey, solid performance.
It's about time, Guys.

Red Sox 5, Angels 0

Dice K Nine K! Dominant.
Doesn't make me like him yet.
Four game win streak. Yea!

Red Sox 4, Angels by Any Other Name 3

8 strikeouts, Lester's my boy.
Boston bullpen, not so much.
Shoot them. Shoot them all.

Red Sox 4, LAAAAAAAAAAngels 2

Blow lead, then win, stessed out fans
Bats, not the arms won the day.
One more W.

Red Sox 5, A's 3

Youk, Lowrie, Drew all homered!
Boston bullpen causing hives.
We'll take the win.

A's 5, Red Sox 0

Mother fucking son of bitch.
John Lackey to minors NOW.
At least Yankees lost.

Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 1

3 game win streak. We'll take it.
Jed Lowrie, hitter on fire.
Here we go, Red Sox.

Red Sox 8, Blue Jays 1

Back to back wins, hope springs
Ellsbury, 3 run dinger
Keep it going, Boys!

Red Sox 4, Last Canadian Team 1

It may be Spring after all
Josh fanned 9, Lowrie homered
Signs of life, perhaps.

Blue Jays 7, Boston T Ball Team 6

No joy for Red Sox Nation
Blue Jays pinata gets win
Sox, you're killing me.

Rays at Red Sox postponed

Game called on account of rain
Will the Sox come back winners?
We'll see on Friday.

Barry Bonds Convicted

Was it the Clear or the Cream?
Found guilty of obstruction.
Poetic justice.

Tampa D Bags 3, Boston Jeez O Petes 2

Jon Lester, 8 strikeouts
Good pitching, no run support
We're getting laughed at.

Dice K Matsuzaka

2 innings, first pitch home run
Not earning his keep no more.
Sayanora, Man.

Lousy Rotten Rays 16, Boston WTFs 5

Pittching? What pitching? Missing.
Tek should slug A Rod again.
Worked in 04.

Manny Ramirez Retires

Caught juicing, second offense
Spanish term for big Dumbass?
Manny Ramirez.

Boston Lazarus 4, Most Hated Team in Baseball 0

Beckett, 10 Ks, DOMINANT
Gonzo's hands: hope he's okay
Joba, pinstriped pinata.

Forces of Darkness 9, NE Pirates 4

Yesterday a fluke? PLEASE, NO!!!!
Bring me McCarver/Buck's tongues.
HATE the Pinstriped Damned.

Red Sox 9, Satan's Pinstriped Legion 6

Sox hammer second inning
Bartolo the Hutt gets loss
Lackey sucked but won.

Indians 1, Red Sox 0

Latest loss is mind-numbing.
Slip and fall loses the game????
SI has jinxed them!

Indians 8, Red Sox 4

It's the fucking INDIANS!
The bullpen outsucks Dyson!
You're killing me, Sox!

Indians 3, Red Sox 1

12 strikeouts and the Sox LOSE?
It's Cleveland; they trade their best!
What the HELL, Red Sox?

Rangers 5, Red Sox 1

Bats quiet, Buchholz not sharp
Rangers kicked ass and took names
SOX! GET OFF THE SCHNEID!!!

Rangers 12, Red Sox 5

Red Sox clobbered, blame Lackey
5 innings of pain though Ells
And Papi went yard.

Rangers 9, Red Sox 5

First day good news and bad news:
Ortiz homers, no "when will he" crap
Jon Lester, not so hot.